News with Disclaimers

Anchor 1 (A1): hello and welcome to the news hour at 9. In today’s main news, we are reporting that a Pakistani spy has been apprehended indulging in espionage activities. He was arrested while receiving classified information from one of the decoy sellers. This is the third enemy spy caught this year and underlines the nefarious designs of another country to undermine our┬ásecurity.

Anchor 2 (A2): hello and welcome. We are the mainstream news channel whose job is to reinforce stereotypes so we have no independent confirmation from police or any other ground staff for this news piece. We are telling you what is the official version of the story, as has been put out by the state deptt. In past, they have been known to plant false stories, mislead and publish self serving agendas so do take their past red herrings into consideration for credibility of this story.

A1: in regional news this evening, in UP the triangular public spat between father son and younger brother has spilled out in open. The younger brother snatched a mike in public meeting from his nephew and the serving chief minister while father looked on. This public feuding is harmful for the party image and might cost the party dear at the time of elections.

A2: regional parties are typical family run fiefdoms which often run on logic of their own drama. You are forewarned that this drama might be all staged to grab eyeballs and distract public from real governance issue. In past fortnight we have devoted around 7 hours of prime time and 18 hours of non prime time on covering this fight. In the same time we have run only one 3 minute non prime time story on worsening electricity condition in state of UP.

A1: in international news in US after the last presidential debate, all polls suggest a clear 70 basis point lead for Hillary over Trump. In a bid to regain lost ground Mr Trump has released his agenda for first 100 days in office. This might be one of the last salvos in what has been a bitter, acrimonious and often a personal presidential campaign.

A2: Democracy in theory is giving people a choice. Democracy in practice is giving people illusion of a choice. If Al Capone ran against Pablo Escobar who would you finally elect. One who does minimum damage. So in an election when you are being made to vote against somebody and not for somebody or in other words when you do not really have a choice, know it isn’t democracy it is self defense. Also this election campaign though worst for American public has been one of the best for American media. Silliness in public life turns out to be very profitable for TV studios.

A1: in a shocking development a 60 year old man was arrested after he ran, having stabbed his 58 years old wife post an argument in the car. He alleged that she received an anonymous call in his presence and was being too friendly over the phone. Infuriated he withdrew a hunting knife, slashed her repeatedly, cut off her veins and even tried to decapitate her. The man is reported to be a drunkard by his neighbors, who did not earn much. Their two kids aged 30 and 27 are in absolute shock and police is investigating premeditation angle because of presence of the knife in the car. We will keep you posted as this story unfolds further.

A2: Since we cannot feature the drama of crime patrol, crime scene investigations and other series on police procedurals that you give such high TRPs to, so perforce we are constrained to pick up everyday crimes and make them spectacularly real. Our editors are very particular about providing you descriptions, details, angles, heroes and villains of these daily dramas. Do know that crime reporting apart from loud and personalized debates, are bread and butter stories for any corporatized media outfit.

A1: in other news, the starlet Ms Oomph has lashed out at her ex calling him papas boy. She has also called him a cry baby who is scared of his own stardom and thus finds it difficult to handle strong women like her. Meanwhile an ex boyfriend of the starlet has come forward claiming she is into vodoo and tantric practices. He claims she made him drink his own blood as a part of one such ceremony.

A2: Sleaze, scandal and sex are perennial bestsellers. We are in business of providing gossip that you want to hear, not news that you need to hear. Our advertisers can rely on us to safeguard their interests but for public the guiding principle is caveat auditius or let the hearer beware. Since mainstream news is largely entertainment space so we recommend all our serious viewers to go online and research real news for themselves. We might not be telling you the whole truth, part truth or any truth at all.