My Dear

My Dear,

As a geek I have always felt rational reasoning to be my strong suit. Given a problem and adequate time, solution has always been just another detail. However let me share with you details of some cognitive abnormalities that have crept into my world view recently.

Since the time I saw you in that mall, arguing with the shopkeeper for the return of the tank top that you bought in a sale; I have felt a strange buzz in my ears. No it is not honeybee kind of sound or even slow humming of a CPU in efficient parallel processing, it is just a low continuous internal frequency vibration. However the best part is that it is very sweet, almost like music but coming from inside. I cant get over the fact that I am spontaneously generating this personal music (without lyrics obviously) and which only I can hear (my availability heuristic where things available become salient).

You remember you had gone arguing with him for about 5 minutes about why it is wrong to not let customers try out the clothing purchased during a sale (thus subverting the capitalistic tenet of buyer beware) or that other shop allows the exchange even after the completion of sale (invoking the bandwagon effect where a thing can be proved by its mass acceptance), however the best part for me was the look of disappointment on your face when he had not relented.

It was obvious that you were heavily invested in the outcome of that argument and that made me want to punch that shopkeeper (ad hominem, fallacy of blaming the person instead of his position). I wanted to run to you, to envelope you and tell you that the shopkeeper was being a jerk ( fundamental attribution error where person is assumed bad and not his situation) and that I would be happy to get you a real nice gown, not merely a top and that it would look really nice on you. Your vulnerability spoke to my inner being which overwhelmingly responded. We met and connected.

This connection has turned my inner world upside down. I find you the most beautiful woman in the world ( contrast effect where a thing becomes prominent in contrast to others) and every color you adorn, every piece of jewellery that you wear, your eyeliner, kohl, lipstick that you use, have all become special and unique for me. I find myself totally surrounded by your presence. (confirmation bias which makes you look for evidence that you want to believe in)

I find your breath perfumed and your sighs fortuned. Your walk is a picnic while your talk is an opera for me (halo effect, where one nice things rubs on to every other trait). I notice every small detail about you and then populate my memories with their languorous recall (selective memory filtering). My free time is spent in dreaming and imaging scenarios with you while my work time is spent in waiting for my free time.

I want to be; the small kid whose chubby cheeks you couchie co; the beauty app on your phone that you go to so often; every roadside mirror that you check yourself in. I want to freeze and own, every kiss that you blow to a friend, every pout that you create for a selfie, every curve you exaggerate while standing in a gathering. I am jealous of every stranger you talk to, every tree that is outside of your window as also every bird that hops in your courtyard. (affect heuristic or emotional reasoning bypassing the critical thinking function)

Sweetheart from being a stranger yourself; you have gone on to make me a stranger to myself.

Given all these new sights and sounds that have invaded my world, I cherish you all the more and would never want to replace any of it, even for a moment (endowment effect- where what you have seems very valuable).

Someone, who is drowning but does not wish to be rescued.

Yours Totally

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