I am your twenty five years older self, writing in from your future.
I wanted to share with you seven life lessons I have acquired over this two and half decades of life journey. I share them with you not because I want to shortchange your process of learning but because reading the story becomes more rewarding when you know it’s moral beforehand.
Ok so here are the things you want to know from me:
1) For all your current confusion life is overall the name of solving two interlocking problems.One is of differentiation from others and second its conjugate is, of integration with them. Typically, the problems you are facing now are differentiation problems which make you currently focused on learning so that you can build a career and accumulate resources for yourself. The problem I am facing in my present is the integration problem wherein I am trying to make a meaning out of it all by integrating with the community and giving back in whatever little way I can.
2) In solving the differentiation problem you will first be faced with value creation problem. Remember people who create sustained value attract a big price. So when you want to earn money there are two ways to do it: trading of existing value or creation of fresh value. Trading is a time based window and often gets shut down so sustained value creation is the only reliable money making technique that you can adopt.
3) For creating this value make a play on yourself and your top skill. I know currently you are not confident of who you are and what you want nonetheless I advise you to trust your instinctual wisdom.Listen to your mind but trust only your gut. When I was you, I continually made the mistake of crouching towards my value creation which now in hindsight I know I could have gone towards, with more boldness. I was guilty of listening to my mind which was often constructing reasons as to why I would not succeed.
4) Before we learn to trust ourselves we keep looking at the world to compare ourselves with it. This exercise is a self defeating one. We always come out short. Self esteem is a life skill which either parents can help you develop, if they know it or one can parent oneself to develop. Read “The Presence Process” by Michael Brown to develop peace of mind and “Self Esteem” by Mckay and Fanning for useful tips on self esteem. These books will help you whenever despair sets in.
5) Set up concrete money targets. Write down how much would you want to earn and by what date. Be precise. Do not leave the bank deposit slip empty for universe to fill in the date and the amount. If you fill in the details and present the check for withdrawal. rest assured Universe will honor it. I kept the money target stuck on the wall where I saw it daily and achieved it two years before the due date that I had set.
6) Next problem I know you face is the mate selection problem or a variant of it which gets manifest in the courting game. Peacocks have feathers, lions have manes as their mate calling cards. Humans need to develop their courting skills by developing presence and authority. This is called being the Alpha Male. Do not mistake alpha for aggression. Bullying or bad boy behavior is self defeating in the long run. Being Alpha Is being an expert or an authority on some subject. When you are an alpha you will be perceived as a resource provider and that will solve your mate selection problem. Do not be shy and diffident of your skills as you are better than most, so go get yourself a swagger.
7) I lived a half life for a long while before realizing that I was sleepwalking through it. I did jobs I did not want to, studied subjects I did not care about so overall wasted my time on things I did not enjoy.See the thing is, that one needs to find ones flow or that state which engages you thoroughly. In our case I found it to be in learning and expressing ideas. Now it is not a fulltime career but a passion which I hope you will make a career of. That way instead of pursing a fractured strategy of earning with your smarts and then switching to your calling, you will have an integrated strategy of living and monetizing your passion.
One final thing mate, if you notice, I am mostly talking about things which I did wrong or slowly. The moral here is that they are the best points of learning lessons. Also let me tell you that you will do good in life so have a heart that whatever mistakes you will make along the way, will in final analysis, turn out to be ok.
Take good care of yourself and for gods sake, get rid of those glasses.