2 States

There are two fundamental conflicting drives that shape human lives.

One is to stay safe and other is to explore the world. However there is a flip-flop connect between these two drives. By an internal switching mechanism only one can get activated at a time.

No where is this switching more visible than in the play session of a toddler. If her mother is around, she is safe and thus will go out to touch and explore everything in the room. As soon as the mother withdraws, the switch gets flipped and she will either cry to get her mother back or will quit playing and wait for the return of her “all is well” person.

As we grow up this behavioral switching remains the same just that its anchor transforms from the external caregiver to an internal self.

A person who feels safe in being himself, one who is sure of his intrinsic worth, one who does not need validation of self by others will venture more, create more, risk more. He or she can afford curiosity, openness and a playfulness of spirit.

On the other hand one who is unsure of himself and thus scared (his adult safety anchor of self being absent) will engage in safe behaviors and always seek comfort zones to feel secure. He will get angry more, intoxicate more and will need constant reassurances against existential threats.

Thus whenever you catch yourself with your safety latch on, relax to connect back with self, Additionally make a habit of deliberately and repeatedly, switching your play button on.

Your life is an adventure story. Don’t live it like a tale of regret and remorse.

Leave a comment